My Agony
My Agony
A poem by Sal Godoij
What life brings or leaves
Dreams, memories, or grieves
A forgotten dawn, all gone
Of the Word I lost trace, and I fell from Grace
Mercy, I now claim, mercy
The Holy Law I blame
Heavens will never be the same
For me, at least
So it was, so it seems, so it shall be
O Lord, I beg Thee
But why start with something and then suffering
And then nothing?
Ah! And what Thee, oh Lord
What would Thee say?
Who among men has heard Thy voice?
Thy voice, oh Lord, is not for the proud ear
Actions speak Thy words
Still, I know it wasn't Thy commandment
Was it Thy enchantment?
Not my life
It never belonged to me
My life was pawned at birth
Why? By whom? These are the questions
But, if it's not true, my agony
Why, then, the hurt, the blasphemy?
Each one must knit their own thread
By the sweat of my brow, I must earn my bread
And follow it to the end
Yes. I fell from Grace because I blamed
The Holy Law, I reclaimed
Alas! Dust follows me wherever I go
For out of the dust Thou hast taken me
And to dust, I shall return
To dust, not to the life I yearn
Oh Lord, forgive my persistence
I beg Thee for a New Covenant
Carry Thy Mercy beyond my existence
Don't allow shadows to darken the landscape
Of my cold beyond, listen what I pray
Bring back to me, Thy Path
Bring back to me, Thy Way
Amen!
What a powerful and emotional poem!
The poem "My Agony" by Sal Godoij appears to be a deeply personal and introspective piece that explores themes of faith, suffering, and redemption. The speaker seems to be grappling with feelings of despair, regret, and a sense of disconnection from a higher power.
The poem starts by setting a tone of melancholy and longing, with the speaker reflecting on the fleeting nature of life and the pain that accompanies it. The lines "A forgotten dawn, then it was all gone / Of the Word I lost trace, and I fell from Grace" suggest a sense of loss and disconnection from a higher power.
Throughout the poem, the speaker addresses a higher power, begging for mercy and questioning the nature of suffering. The lines "But why start with something, and then the suffering / And then nothing?" convey a sense of frustration and confusion.
One of the most striking aspects of the poem is its exploration of the tension between free will and divine will. The speaker seems to be grappling with the idea that their life was "pawned at birth," suggesting a sense of predetermination, and yet, they acknowledge the need to take responsibility for their actions and "knit their own thread."
The poem's language is rich and evocative, with vivid imagery and metaphors that add to its emotional impact. The use of biblical allusions, such as the reference to dust and the concept of a New Covenant, adds depth and complexity to the poem's themes.
Overall, I think "My Agony" is a powerful and thought-provoking poem that explores some of the most fundamental questions of human existence. It's a poem that rewards close reading and reflection, and I'm sure it will stay with me for a long time.
What do you think of the poem? What resonated with you, or what questions do you have about it?
