Why do things never turn out how we imagine them?

Why do things never turn out how we imagine them?

Caveat: This is no matter to laugh about, but a real-life concern.

So, to begin with, let me share these words from F. Scott Fitzgerald referring to Gatsby: “… and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.”

So, why do things never turn out how we imagine them?

I know many things depend only on us, how we face them, our plans, and our attitude, but sometimes, it’s not so.

One example:

Once upon a time, I was invited to speak at a conference. I was the subject matter expert; thus, I have the confidence, so I imagined receiving a standing ovation. The presenter introduced me, and I stood there frozen under the spotlight before the 100-eyed monster. I failed to break the ice.

Other examples:

A manuscript we put so much love and work into it. However, it never ends up being the best seller we imagine it should be. Sometimes, it does not even reach an Agent, least of all a traditional publisher.

A lottery number. As soon as we buy the number, we start dreaming. The lottery ads encourage these dreams, so we imagine life changes. But then, “Not a Winning Number.” So, what do we do? We go and buy another number.

A friendship we invest so much into and ends but in nothing.

We can choose our friends but not our family. Our family is not the family we dream we had. Our father is no longer the hero of our childhood. And so on.

A love that promised to be great and ends but in ashes.

A peace process that gets twisted and leads to another conflict.

When we pursue success, yet we never reach it, despite our efforts.

We imagine (and hope) finding the right job, boss, and career, which never happens.

When we pursue happiness, yet we never reach it, despite our drive.

When we start a project with great hopes and planning, it flops no matter what we do.

We start a LinkedIn post, and we dream it will go viral, yet the only response we have is from the only friend we’ve left.

And so, why do things never turn out how we imagine them?

Is it because we don’t listen to advice from the successful ones?

Is it because we don’t read the appropriate self-help books?

Or is it because we swim against the stream and persist on it?

Or is it because it is not our time yet, but if we persist, we will get it?

Is it because we don’t follow the rules?

And there we go again, as F. Scott Fitzgerald reminds us: “And so, we bet on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”